  Web page: FTP://ftp.df.lth.se:21/pub/c64/Illegal/illeg31.txt
                                                               Illegal #31
  This is ILLEGAL #31, rewritten from paper by King Fisher / Triad.

  ---

                                    IT'S

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                               BUT WHO CARES?

                                  ISSUE #31
                  Your PIRATE FANZINE! THE OCTOBER EDITION!

                              the ballad of...
                                 GOGO BROWN!

  As  everybody  has its man behind the mask telling stories without giving
  his  real  name,  I'm gonna publish every month a column written by a guy
  everybody knows, but doesn't know...
                                                                        /JS

  Welcome  ladeies  and gentlemen, my worthy name is GOGO BROWN and I'm not
  going to tell you my real name until I'm forced to do so.

  Okey,  using  an  alias means I can talk and slag everybody off if I want
  to. That's turning me on. But I'm not going to slag off anyone this time,
  even  though  I was given well damn reason for doing so, so nobody can be
  sure...

  I'm  also present at almost every copyparty around, so be careful of what
  you say and better wash your mouths with soap...

  As  last  month's  "ILLEGAL" was a whol slagging-off to all brain damaged
  U.S.  importing  groups,  I'd  like to set this idea forth. Up to now all
  guys hated to see Americans destroying European cracking culture, putting
  their  at  a  rate of 99% non-working intros in front of a game Europeans
  cracked and even being proud of such an act.

  Yet the climax of all this wasn't reached when one can observe that every
  file  is  uploaded  which name is unknown, no matter what shit or crap it
  might be...

  So  it  was no surprise to see the damn yankees importing European demos!
  And  not  only the good ones... Would you like it if I go and put my ugly
  intro  in  front  of  your  program?  But  still  feel even honoured when
  Americans do import their demo.

  The  other thing pissing me off like nothing else in this entire world is
  to  see Yanx being proud of releasing games made with that hell of "Shoot
  'Em  Up  Construction  Kit", though every single ass is able to recognize
  that if he takes one look at the game...

  Where does this lead to? Total destruction of the brilliant idea of modem
  trading itself... What do you think? Jeff is so kind and promised to send
  every letter to me if you want to talk to me...

  And  you  see  that  you  already reached the end of my first column "the
  ballad of Gogo Brown". Next issue I'm definately going to slag some asses
  off  after  I called them and told them I was an American and just wanted
  to talk to them, I

  should  have  recorded  every word I was told, you would wonder what your
  best  friends  are  saying about you when you talk to them and they don't
  have  the slightest idea you might get your hands at what they're talking
  about... so... until next issue!
                                               Yours sincerely, Gogo Brown!

                          WHAT THE DICKENS IS UP???

  Yeh,  the  news  spread  faster  than  my  death (caused by a certain car
  accident) well I'm working for nobody less than SCG from now on...

  But  you can be sure, that nothing's gonna change, though I'm also raping
  an  Amiga  right  now,  yeh.  But you can expect more news from the Amiga
  scene as I'm gonna be more informed in such things from now on... I hope.

  A big thanx for all has to go all days to MR.PINGE, IXION and JANITOR for
  building  me  up  and  making the whole climbing possible, I won't forget
  you.

  By  the  way,  I won't forget any of the following guys of course as well
  and  I  also use this opportunity to send my best wishes to: BEASTIE BOYS
  (Captain  Future,  Accept >thanx for the postcard< and Axiom), EAGLE SOFT
  INC.  (sonofa Mitch and Butcher), FAIRLIGHT (Strider and GoGollum), IKARI
  (Justice  >catch  the thief< and Dik), the NEW BENCOR BROTHERS (Andy >the
  best  friend one can have at a party<), BROS (the entire Dutch and Norway
  section,  especially  Paco  and  Gene),  RADWAR  (>all  men  on  the ship
  including  the  big  boss  and  the  writer  of that letter to the ASM<),
  COMMANDOFRONTIER  (Mad  All >good luck<, Ram and Leto II, and Photony >of
  course!<),  TRIANGLE  (Swyx,  Cozmix and the giant baby, Scratch), COSMOS
  (SSD  and Antitrack >I couldn't fix it<), THE WANDERER GROUP (the Beerman
  and  the  idiot  I  had  to  spend  almost 4 days with >Easy!<), INC (two
  times  Davez), DOUGHNUT CRACKING SERVICE (Mis-tuh Zu-luh >C U in December
  Andy?<),  the  whole  JCS  bunch (thanx for the posters, Fozz), Shining 8
  (Stet  and  Reptil  >but  I  can  only  afford trading with one of you<),
  REDLINE  (again sorry Alech), END OF CENTURY (yol Pet's Band man), ZENITH
  (Where's  my  mag, handy Hendy), HOTLINE, HACKERWORLD (sorry for 4getting
  you  last  issue...), SPHINX, ORION, ZENOBITS (late but it comes), my old
  dood  IAN,  ASH  &  DAVE,  IAN  & MIC, all cnet heroes, PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1
  (Colin dooood), RED SECTOR INTL. (take er easy, man!), T.K. (still living
  after 'London'?), Hi-tec (?), D'jay (watt geht ab?), ACU (netter letter),
  FAME  (Michael  wird  Vater)  and all the SCOUSERS, Weetibicks (Mega mega
  awesome post office), Masters of the universe: Le-man , Junkie, errmmm...
  eh? I meant... Chunkie of course and Webb ster!

  Special  thanx  to  Carlsberg,  Mutti  und Pappi, Joy Division, BFBS, New
  Order,  the  Smiths, Morrisey, Frankenheim Alt and Funke Alt for all much
  needed supply during hard hours of typing...

  Next month, same column?
  BEAT IN,
                                                                 Jeff Smart

                                The PCS 1988.

  Here  we  are,  London  1988.  We arrived late in the night, stand on the
  Westminister Bridge and listened to the bells of BIG BEN at 12.

  Saturday,  September 17th. I didn't know it would be one of the best days
  in  my  life.  After MR.CURSOR, TK and I went through London and I bought
  several  records and T-shirts in record stored on Oxford Street we took a
  taxi  cab  and  drove  back to Chelsea to Earl's Court. Yo man. THOUSANDS
  (and  this  time  it  is no damn exaggeration to talk about thousands) of
  people  wanted  to  get in, we bought our tickets and went up the stairs.
  And  you  wouldn't believe. You couldn't see a damn thing, because it was
  too  overcrowed,  well 'overcrowded' is not the right expression, bit I'm
  sure you know what I mean.

  We  walked  past  the  OCEAN stand at the entry of the show and I thought
  that  it  could be hard to find someone among all those people. The first
  guy  I met was CHARLES DEENEN from MANIACS OF NOISE, who was about to eat
  something  at the snack bar. Then, after walking round and round again, I
  still couldn't believe it.

  I've been here for some hours and I still didn't know where the different
  stands  were...  Then, at the THALAMUS stand I met old JESTER from PUBLIC
  ENEMY  NO.1 and my old lar LAZER from the NEW BENCOR BROTHERS who at once
  pulled me down into a bar and bought some beer for us (thanx, Andy!).

  Walking  over  the show again I finally met the SCOUSERS (Weetibix, Chunk
  and  Lee),  IKARI (Nik, Just Ice, Tridos, Fletch, Excell), DCS (Mr.Sulu),
  JCS (the whole bunch), ZENITH (Steve + Hendy), BOD of HOTLINE, THE GRONK,
  GENE  from BROS coming from NORWAY... and later on, on the THALAMUS stand
  (it  became  our meeting point) my old friends from COMMANDOFRONTIER (Mad
  All, Ram, Leto 2.....) and FAIRLIGHT (Strider, Gollum, Excalibur...), TCS
  even some guys from TRANSCOM (naturally not saying a single word).

  We  all  went  down  into  the  bar and drank some beers... Ha! The final
  meeting, IKARI + FAIRLIGHT + CFR + NBB + TRIAD + SCG + .... all together,
  talking for some hours... then back again on the show. As the show closed
  around 8, I finally met all I wanted to meet, well almost (IAN?).

  Back  on  Sunday  morning,  this  time we were able to have a look at all
  those  arcade  machines, preview shows, promotion gags, company's stands,
  posters, bag, t-shirts, people, equipment and what the hell...

  Again  we  all  met  on  the THALAMUS stand, though I personally think of
  OCEAN's  one was the very best. Lots of playable games (ROBOCOP, TYPHOON,
  OPERATION  WOLF...)  and arcade machines, promotion gags (a guy disguised
  as ROBOCOP itself...). We walked around making jokes, sitting down in the
  bar. We also went to the COMMODORE USER stand, made some photos.

  But  there  was  really  no  use  to test a game, because on every single
  arcade  machine you could count 50 small English kids (Oh my God, they're
  all talking English!) kicking in their balls... and playing...

  I  was  able to play 'ARMALYTE' from THALAMUS (Delta 2), 'ROCKET RANGER',
  'LORDS  OF  THE  RISING  SUN'  and 'TV GAMES' all from CINEMAWARE, 'DALEY
  TH.O.C.'  from  OCEAN  on  AMIGA,  a  very bad looking 'AFTERBURNER' from
  ACTIVISION on 64 and what the dickens I don't remember exactly everything
  else,  but  it was damn cool. Cooler than anything else before. It really
  was the show!

  Mr.Just Ice just grabbed some games and previews just out of the hands of
  the  software  companies  (well done!) or took several equipment with him
  (yol!).

  Well...  as  the time came to say goodbye (FAIRLIGHT and CFR left already
  on Saturday...) we all decided to meet again as fast as possible and this
  could  be  at  Venlo  in  December, but... Sitting in the car right now I
  swear to myself I'll be back next year when the PCS 1989 will take place.

  This  weekend  will stay in my mind forever and ever as it was really one
  of the best a computer freak could imagine, and when do you have the time
  to  meet  all  British  hackers, the guys from Compunet, all the software
  companies (really all!!!) and many interesting guys? Only one time a year
  when it's PC SHOW time.

  See you around next year!
  Yours
                                                           MR. J.W. SMART!?

                         THE STORY OF SYSTEM FOUR...

  Aaaahh.  Without  taking  the  glasses  down,  you  pour  half a liter of
  probably the best beer in the world and you feel that odd feeling in your
  stomach,  in your head... in your brain. You returned from the meeting of
  the leading groups, successful as always.

  Hum,  the old religion died... you changed the colour of your school bag,
  only one group is alive. But what is it? They keep working their ass off,
  but  for  what?  Others,  so-called  good  friends, go and just steal all
  brilliant  ideas in one second while it took them centuries to find them.
  Bad  thing. For what? When friends become enemies when you turn your back
  on  them. It's really a bad thing. But who believes a clown? And the drum
  makes you think faster...

  Small  kids,  shooting  stars  think  they could rule the world. But how?
  Without  any  responsibility?  Just for some ripped off ideas? Bad thing.
  You  also find yourself in betraying the old things, when you took a step
  closer  to  the new system, number 16... but, still your fingers type for
  no.4 and will always do? But for what?

  Other  idiots  just  tell  you  to  go on, but for what? You examine your
  wallet,  but nothing is left... Watched from the wings as the scenes were
  replaying,  we saw ourselves now as we never saw ourselves before. Made a
  promise  for  an old life, made a victim out of your life. When you stand
  at  the door and you trip to the floor and you feel you can touch all the
  noise  is  to  mitch,  eh,  much... and the seed that are sown and are no
  longer  your  own... just a minor operation to force the final ultimatum.
  Bad thing.

  You  shake  your head. Is this REALLY ALL you lived for? Nothing... where
  are  the  young men? Where have they been? Knocked on the doors of hell's
  darker chambers, pushed to the limits, we dragged ourselves in...

  You  feel  very bad 'cuz you're thinking of the 'good ole' times, but you
  couldn't compete, 'cuz you've been too green behind your ears. Bad thing.

  You  always  said:  "Be  careful...  there's  another meaning as just the
  colour..." but nobody believes you. Who believes a goddamn clown? Nobody,
  sad thing. BLUE, everything's gone blue...

  I  don't  think your timing is that flawed, but there's still this appeal
  everyone of us kept through his life...

  Girls?  But  who  trusts  a  mad boy? Nobody, no try... no love lost! Who
  needs it? I do... very sad thing. We fought for good, stood side by side,
  our  friendship  never  died.  But  stranger ways that froze on highs our
  vision  touched  skies...  Mortal  list,  the points to prove, I point to
  prove...

  I  always  told 'em that it means something different than just a colour,
  but...  what shall I say... depressing... Excuse me, but... I had to tell
  you, a weight on my shoulder...

  Where  have  they  been? Weary inside, now our hearts lost forever. These
  rituals  showed  up  the  door  for our wanderings. OPENED AND SHUT, then
  slammed  in  my  face. I took a rope, put it round my neck, I didn't know
  it's that easy... take off for a new life.

  Never to be continued. Bye, you all!
                                                                       J.S.

                           INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH
                          THIS TIME: WEETIBIX / SCG

  If  one was wondering who this SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP was when some cracks
  have  been  released  around beginning of 1987, then nowadays every small
  kid  has heard of the boys from Liverpool, they really worked hard to get
  that  status  they have today! I spoke to WEETIBIX, their maincracker who
  advanced without doubts to one of the very best crackers on earth...

  ?: Gimme a hint at your age!
  !: I'm currently at the ripe 'old' age of 16!
  ?: When did you buy your computer and why?
  !: Well  my  parents  bought  it for me back in '85... I don't think they
     knew  what they let themselves in for! I also have an AMIGA... but not
     for cracking!
  ?: Do you have any special reasons for cracking?
  !: Well,  the  enjoyment  really  (some one's got to crack all these hard
     games!).  I  don't  have  any  idols just respect the good crackers in
     general (or the dead ones!).
  ?: Who are your best friends?
  !: Well  some  lamer  from  Ger... ermm Jeff Smart!, all the Scouse boys,
     Butcher  /  ESI,  Fozz / JCS, the old TCS bunch and the rest who likes
     me!
  ?: Do you have any enemies?
  !: People  who  start out to be seem to make up there 'differences' after
     having a talk. So, no, I don't have any enemies.
  ?: When was SCG founded?
  !: It  was  founded way back in July '86 but we didn't do much in the way
     of  "cracking". Things changed, we began mail trading (YEAH!) and here
     we are.
  ?: What are your fave...
  !: Demo: Borderzone from Mat & Psy
     Game: Giana Sisters
     Music: Arkanoid, I like many music groups, Talking Heads, U2...
     Movies: All kinds, except all the gay romance shit!
  ?: What are your sparetime acts?
  !: Wot sparetime?! Well, SLEEP (when there is some!)
  ?: What do you think about the 64's future?
  !: The  64  will continue for a while yet, but inevitably, the AMIGA (not
     ST!) will become the ruler!
  ?: How did you get your name?
  !: One  time in '85 I altered the scroll text to a game... I just thought
     of 'WEETIBIX' and it stuck!
  ?: Why did you, yourself, leave for a while?
  !: I grew bored with and tired of the cracking scene.
  ?: Why did you come back?
  !: I wasn't bored anymore!
  ?: What's up?
  !: Not that old joke, Jeff, pleeeeez!
  +: Thanx a lot.
  +: No probbie-dobbie.
                                                                       J.S.

                       NEWS FROM THE INNER SECTION...

  Oh yes, the winter is coming... but that doesn't mean nothing happened...

  *  Well,  as  already  everybody  knows  I  myself left TRIAD and went to
  Liverpool,  better  said  I  joined SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP. But that's not
  all,  I  also  bought  an  Amiga!  Of  course  I'm not gonna drop the 64,
  otherwise  I  would  drop  and old friend and I never drop old friends...
  Okay, enough about me...

  *  Questions  if  TRIAD  is  still  existing  should be answered with the
  following list: ACU, the only active Triad cracker is gonna stop computer
  activities   totally.   Hi-tec   started  to  work,  F.A.M.E.  are  fully
  concentrating  to  work  only  for  companies,  THE  SARGE  went  over to
  FAIRLIGHT,  as  you  know  MR.PINGE,  IXION, JANITOR (there was something
  about  that  guy...  if  I  could remember) quitted 64 biz some time ago,
  DEEJAY  and  T.K.  are about to decide which offer to take and join a new
  group,  THE  GRONK  didn't say anything about still working Triad, so you
  see,  Triad  are:  801 DC and TWILIGHT, and if I add that the last things
  Triad  released were only German products (without any exception) you can
  gues that something is gone... forever?

  * The list of Scousers looks like: Weetibix, Trans X, Chunk, Webb and JS

  *  As  modem trading becomes more and more important BEASTIE BOYS decided
  to  take  a  new, but talented importing guy from Switzerland named AXIOM
  and he already proved that modem trading is not the only thing he can do,
  but also programming.

  *  Surprise, surprise... JJ THE BREAKER is back! That means that the good
  old  UNTOUCHABLE  CRACKING  FORCE  released  some cracks, but I have some
  doubts if they will be the big rival for EAGLE SOFT.

  *  Germany's  best  cracker  was  caught by the police, I'm talking about
  MR.ZEROPAGE  (who  was  working for RED SECTOR) on the Amiga. Rumours say
  that the police got informed by some traitors from POWERSTATION, bad luck
  anyway.

  *  As  everybody  knows  this  MARK of FUSION made up a new group when he
  became  too  afraid  of  the name FUSION, and he called this crap PHOENIX
  talking  bullshit  about  lots  of future releases, but except giving the
  F.A.S.T.  (Federation Against Software Theft) hints about English craking
  groups, not much came out from him.

  * People said I'm myself changing the groups as others are changing their
  underwear,  though I stayed for about 8 1/2 month in TRIAD. But DARK STAR
  is  now  in his 3rd group within one month. First in BROS, then DRIVE and
  now OCTAGON, wondering what comes next?

  * We both, MAD ALL / CFR and me officially declare that none of us can be
  called  responsible  for being EVIL EDDY, who's writing the best parts in
  Jayce's  magazine  "Delirious Mag.", I would give a hell to know who that
  is, because he's very good...

  * What the helluva fuck happened to the good old English post? They had a
  3  weeks post strike that was really pissing a lot of guys (including me,
  of  course) off... Anyway, after another week they seem to be back in old
  speed,  but  I  hope  that  Express  letters  are  not gonna take 4 weeks
  again...

  *  Latest  news  from  THE  WANDERER  GROUP are that INSIDE THE BUILDING,
  formerly  known  as  RUBBERDUCK,  also  stopped  all  computer activities
  because  of  no time remaining because of working... but what is the real
  reason, Markus?

  * Funny, funny... As everybody was wondering how ACTIVISION would be able
  to  produce  a  better  "R-TYPE"  than  KATAKIS from German RAINBOW ARTS,
  ACTIVISION  finally  bought  all  rights  from R.A. and are soon going to
  release KATAKIS again, just with one single change and that's the name...
  I'm  wondering  who  will  be  so silly and to crack it again, anyway I'm
  planning  to get through the whole game without a trainer as I'm reaching
  currently Level 7...

  *  Moving over to the Dutch mountains, FIRE EAGLE just changed their name
  into  SCOUTS  (but without CRACKING GROUP behind, any parellels with dead
  or existing cracking groups are pure coincidence, eh?).

  *  Ha,  everybody  was afraid of going to Venlo again 'cause "It might be
  possible  that  the  cops are coming" and so what? Nothing happened there
  last month (also concerning new stuff), so it seems to be a safe place to
  take out our fights... Hehehe

  *  It  can  be taken from a German pirate magazine called "NEWS" that MCG
  spread  the word that they cracked already "GREAT GIANA SISTERS 2" though
  it  is  going  to be released by RAINBOW ARTS in a couple of weeks as the
  production manager said...

  *  If anybody out there is interested in tasting French balls, not French
  fries,  then  he  just  has  to show up at a certain meeting at a certain
  place  in  Holland,  when  anyone from TRANSCOM (except Jayce) is meeting
  their  best friend, respectively me. No use to warn them, 'cuz they won't
  understand  it,  I  don't  speak  French and they don't speak English and
  won't have much time to repeat learning it...

  *  MR.CURSOR of THE WANDERER GROUP is gonna sell his Amiga after "finding
  out  how  the  machine works in seven days" and then put an Archimedes on
  his desk... Aha.

  *  Well,  I'm  not feeling unproud to have a group in my country which is
  able to import, okey?

  *  I was surprised by getting letters from ISRAEL, TURKEY, YUGOSLAVIA and
  BULGARIA  last  month,  but  one  thing made me think hard. A letter from
  SPAIN  from  a  group  called "EL TORO CRACKING SERVICE". Perhaps someone
  wanted to make a joke with me, 'cuz I invented the name just as a joke on
  the European cracker map a long time ago... Indeed very funny thing.

  * Thus ends it...

  Special  thanx  for  news  and stuff like that to: CF/BB, ESI, SCG-bunch,
  DAVE E., NY, TK, TWG, Jayce and RSI.

  Well, then later on...
                                                                   J. Smart

                                AMIGA-REVIEWS

  SUMMER OLYMPIAD
  A  big  surprise caught me, because the game was not that good as regards
  the gameplay on the 64. But not only the graphics have been well improved
  on the Amiga, so have the gameplay. Now it also saves the highest scores.
  TYNESOFT's SUMMER OLYMPIAD claims to be one of the best sport simulations
  on 16 bit: 92.

  CYBERNOID
  Yet another good old 64 conversion and except of the sound one could also
  or better play the 8 bit version without any losses. The graphics are not
  much  better  as  they  normally  should be and the sound is, compared to
  other sounds possible on the Amiga, nothing special: 61.

  BATTLE CHESS
  Ha!  Only  a  few  games  deserve  to  be called 'standard-setting' (e.g.
  'Defender  of the Crown') and here we've got yet another one! Okey, those
  who  can't play chess won't have that fun with it, but those who can will
  be fascinated. ELECTRONIC ARTS are going to reach the name of a top Amiga
  games producing company, their latest release BATTLE CHESS features chess
  with  brilliant  graphics,  fantastic animation and lot of fun during the
  gameplay,  10 different levels, human vs human or computer... Just have a
  look at it! 94.

  ALIEN SYNDROME
  Aha,  another  64  conversion  and  it's  really  not  the worst one. The
  graphics  and  sound  make  well use of the Amiga's capacities. Well, the
  game  was  good  on the 64 and is even better on the Amiga, let's say: 93
  points out of 100.

  MENACE
  A  new shoot 'em up by PSYGNOSIS should be a real top hit, but it is not.
  Okey,  the graphics and sprites are not bad, but the game is too slow and
  too  boring as there exists lots of other more interesting shoot 'em ups,
  76 pts.

  NEBULUS
  The  game  is  almost  the same as on the 64, but is slightly better. The
  sound  should  have  been  better, but it is still a fascinating game, 87
  pts.

  VIRUS
  This  game  is  better  known  as  "Zarch" on the Archimedes. The game is
  really  fast  but  somehow it gets boring mainly because of the idiotical
  movements with the mouse, anyway: 84 pts.

  ROCKET RANGER
  The  long  awaited  new masterpiece by "Defender of the Crown" developers
  CINEMAWARE  featuring  good  old  ADOLF  H.?  Though  the  game  will  be
  definately  not  published  in Germany, it is really a good and difficult
  one with brill graphix, 87.

                                 64-REVIEWS

  DALEY THOMPSON'S OLYMPIC CHALLENGE
  Yeah,   sponsored   by   ADIDAS,   OCEAN  managed  to  produce  the  best
  'destroy-your-joystick'   sporting   game   since   DECATHLON.  Fantastic
  graphics  and animations and a very good sound make the game to be a real
  hit: 92.

  CORRUPTION
  The  new  one  in the neverending series of MAGNETIC SCROLLS' adventures.
  Okey,  they're  good, but it starts to get more and more boring, take now
  CORRUPTION where you have to read lots of texts to proceed, nothing could
  really  make  me  to  play  this  game as intensive as I played 'GUILD OF
  THIEVES' before... 79.

  GAME OVER 2
  A  big  dissapointment,  the first part is a very, very ugly shoot 'em up
  stage, only the second stage deserves to be called 'GAME OVER 2', but the
  MARTIN GALWAY sound is missing over the whole game... 49.

  INTENSITY
  The  new  shocker  by  ANDREW BRAYBROOK, it's impossible to describe this
  game, but it's brilliant gameplay, as expected: 93.

  OCEAN RANGER
  This could also have been one of those MICROPROSE simulations but is not,
  as it is from ACTIVISION. Anyway the game is fucking ace, who cares? 94.

  DANGER FREAK
  This  game  is coming from the German company RAINBOW ARTS and you see at
  once  that  it's  from  Germany,  because the programmers are not able to
  write some simple game descriptions in correct English. A very lousy game
  for German standards, veeery boring with some programming bugs, 0.

  BARBARIAN 2
  The long awaited follow up to one of the classic 'Beat 'em up' games, and
  PALACE  added options to fight either with the guy or with the girl, they
  added  chambers, different directions, lots of new creatures and in spite
  of all that, the game cannot reach it's predecessor, because thinking and
  beating do nor belong together, 86.

  JOE BLADE 2
  Those who liked JOE BLADE, will like JOE BLADE 2, the others not. 69.

  KATAKIS
  THE  BEST  GAME  EVER  PRODUCED IN GERMANY! Though many bugs in the game,
  KATAKIS  is  the  best shoot 'em up ever, and as it is so close to R-TYPE
  (the  Arcade!!!),  ACTIVISION  bought  it from RAINBOW ARTS and are gonna
  release  it as R-TYPE soon! Fantastic graphics and fast gameplay, lots of
  action and saveable high scores make the game to be a real classic on the
  64, wow... 96.
                                                                       J.S.

                      PCS STAR OF THE SHOW AWARD! 1988
                        "EASILY THE BEST PARTY EVER!"

  Congratulations to JUST ICE of IKARI...

  I.   Just Ice - IKARI
  II.  Lazer - NEW BENCOR BROS
  III. Gene - BROS

  Thanx to:

  JUST  ICE  of IKARI (GBR) for "grabbing" some games and previews just out
  of  the  hands of the Software companies (e.g. "Game Over II", "Joe Blade
  II", "Starray Pr."...) and for a great time at the show.

  LAZER from NEW BENCOR BROTHERS for getting all of his friends a beer down
  below  in the bar ("Hicks"), for meeting the guys from Commodore User and
  everything else.

  GENE  from  BROS  (NOR) for coming from Norway to England, staying in the
  most  expensive  hotel  in LONDON ("Hilton"), letting stay Mr.Zulu of DCS
  with him.
                                                                 Jeff Smart

+---------------------------------------------------+------------------------+
| Cracker of the month "November '88"               |                 PUT    |
+---------------------------------------------------+                STAMP   |
| S.C.G.       :     Please sign here:              |                HERE!   |
| E.S.I.       :                                    |                        |
| IKARI        :     _____________________          |                        |
| FAIRLIGHT    :                                    |                        |
| BROS         :     Handle:                        |                        |
| ZENITH       :     Group :                        |                        |
| TRIAD        :     Adress:                        |                        |
| T.W.G.       :                                    |                        |
| RADWAR       :                                    |                        |
| COSMOS       :                                    |                        |
| TRIANGLE     :                                    |                        |
| WIZAX        :     Your opinion about "ILLEGAL":  |                        |
| D.C.S.       :                                    |        To:             |
| BEASTIE BOYS :                                    |        ILLEGAL         |
| SHINING 8    :                                    |        PLK 123144 C    |
| HOTLINE      :                                    |        4250 BOTTROP    |
| STRIKE FORCE :                                    |        WEST GERMANY    |
| V.C.F.       :                                    |                        |
| ORION        :                                    |                        |
| LEGEND       :                                    | It's                   |
|                                                   | "ILLEGAL"              |
|                                                   |  but who cares?        |
|                                                   |    I DO !!!            |
+---------------------------------------------------+------------------------+

                                  PC ENGINE
                               THE ALTERNATIVE

  Everybody  is  talking  about the PC ENGINE, a new cool game console from
  the land of the rising sun, Japan. It's as big as a normal 5 1/4 disk and
  features  brilliant  graphics  and  fantastic  sound  effects. Games like
  R-TYPE,  VICTORY RUN, GALLAGA '88, CHAN AND CHAN and others are available
  at a price of more than 30 pounds each. (= 90 DM = 50).

  The  whole  PC  ENGINE  is  at  the  mo at a price of 500 DM = 300 = 130
  pounds,  but  as  the  games  are too expensive and there is no chance to
  'crack' them, it still is no real alternative to the home computers.
                                                                             JS

                               ALLRIGHT, LARS!

  Thanx  for  the  many  postcards you sent back to me, great fun, and so I
  think   that   the  'cracker  of  the  month'  charts  are  getting  more
  representative  as  about 35 guys took the chance and voted for it! Yeah,
  among  the  postcards  5 guys will be taken out and sent an "ILLEGAL" for
  free!!!!

  Well,  I have to excuse myself for presenting this time an "ILLEGAL" in a
  somewhat  lower  level  than  usual,  due to my problems with school. I'm
  running  my  last  year  and  so  every test is very important... My week
  (10th-15th of October) looks like this:

  MONDAY:    skip school, work on "ILLEGAL", learn for Maths.
  TUESDAY:   Maths test taking 4 hours time, then work on "ILLEGAL".
  WEDNESDAY: print  "ILLEGAL",  work  on layout,  copy "ILLEGAL", learn for
             German.
  THURSDAY:  German test taking also 4 hours, then learn for Geography.
  FRIDAY:    Geography test that takes 6 (!) hours then sleep.
  SATURDAY:  Venlo: release "ILLEGAL".

  You  see, not much time remained this week to be really up-to-date, but I
  promise  to  produce  a  very  good  "ILLEGAL"  for  the December meeting
  anyway...  but  next  issue  will be published on November, 19th again at
  Venlo...  so all articles should be sent up to the 10th of November to me
  pleeeeez!
                                                 Best regards, yours Jeffie

  Wot do you find when you open IKARI's fridge?
  Nothing, just ice!
                                                          (C) Photony / CFR

                                     THE
                                    PARTY
                                     IS
                                    OVER

  Watch out for "THE COLONY"!

  MEETINGS: VENLO!

  September  17th,  the new VENLO meeting after the summer break. Everybody
  was  afraid  that  the cops might show up, but... nothing happened... and
  also  nothing  happened what regards new stuff or any cool guys... due to
  the PCS on the same weekend.

  Of  course,  all usual guys were absent, only BROS, nobody from HOTLINE!,
  BWB, SF, LEGEND, ORION, SPHINX (who released... guess what... demos!) and
  of  course! the usual thousands of Dutch lamers and AMIGA idiots... Well,
  I  forgot  CFR  (myself) of course. I became a rich man 'cause of selling
  all "ILLEGAL"s I brought with me, Hehe!

  Well  we're  waiting and hoping for a better Venlo meeting next time, but
  due to the PCS all important guys have been absent...

  The snackbar didn't get that lot of money this time, they're also waiting
  for  yet  another  in  this  neverending,  unstoppable  series  of  VENLO
  meetinx... We too. Wee you in heaven...
                                                              Photony / CFR

                             THE EAST IS COMING!

  Have you ever heard of groups like "H.I.C." or "F.B.I."?

  Well,  these crews are from Hungary! At first: They don't have new stuff,
  but  they  create  demos that you think were made by IAN+MIC or ASH+DAVE.
  There  is  also  an  eastbloc-scene like in West Europe. I got demos from
  POLAND and U.S.S.R. (Strider is the public enemy No.1 in Russia - Ha Ha).
  Their  hot  favourite games are "Worldgames" and "Enduro Racer" (remember
  that?).

  Jump  a  little  west  and  you  are  in  Austria! In the last weeks some
  Austrian  lamers  contacted  famous  crews  and told them, that they were
  members from COSMOS. These guys are names: NOBODY, MUNDELSOFT, MURDOCK or
  some  others.  Please  notice  for all time that COSMOS is only: ATT, BIG
  BEN, SSD, CHC, ICON and that's already all for this month.

                                                     Salve Big Ben / COSMOS

                              EXCUSE ME, BUT...

  The second part of "ILLEGAL PRESENTS OLD 64 LEGENDS" will be published in
  the  following  issue,  because  I  didn't  have  all the time because of
  school, but be sure they'll be there next issue, OK?
                                                                        JS

                           UNCLE CHUNKLE'S HUT...

  And so, uncle Chunkle pens his first solo, Illegal article...
  To begin with I am going to sort who is who in SCOUSE and who is not:

  In  a recent Delirious article the member list was quoted as - 'Weetibix,
  Lee  and  Webb'.  Piss  off!!!  Whoever  supplied this list was obviously
  deeply  misinformed,  because  the member list actually reads as follows:
  CHUNK (me, me, me!), WEETIBIX, TRANSX, WEBB, JEFF SMART (who??). Those of
  you  who are observent enough may notice an unusual addition to our group
  in  the  shape  of  Jeff  Smart! We have know 'Smartie' since the days of
  G.S.S.  and  have always been good friends, and, after meeting him at the
  PC-Show  we  mutually  agreed  that he was in fact a Scouser who has been
  disguising  his identity by speaking in a German accent - and thus he was
  immediately recruited.

  One  of the most talked-about subjects recently has been 'Americans' so I
  thought that I would throw in a few words on this subject.

  Once  upon  a  time  there was a group named 'Fission' (or something like
  that...),  now this group was typical second generation crackers, that is
  -  they knew very little about cracking; using savers and other utilities
  (that require no skill to utilize). But this group had something called a
  modulator  /  demodulator  (a  modem  -  dumbo)  and  so,  everytime they
  'cracked' a game it would be sent off to some ever-demanding American who
  immediately ran off to tell everyone how awesome 'Fission' were.

  Gradually, more and more people (sadly including us) began to modem-trade
  because  Americans  decreed  that  'fastest was best'. We do not actually
  need  the  Americans,  and  like  a lot of other I would sooner be rid of
  them.  Sadly  we  have grown too dependent upon these Americans. Boo Hoo!
  Sniff, onto other topics less sad - DEMOS!

  Scouse has now had two demos (RETICULATE + HALFWAY) under its belt and in
  a  few  weeks  will  (hopefully)  release another one entitled 'AQUAPAST'
  which unlike the previous two (which were aimed more at demo writers that
  anything  else)  should appeal more to the masses. 'AQUAPAST' is going to
  be  my  best  demo  yet  and  will  include:  1.  full  screen horizontal
  interlace,  2. Wireyscroll - wait and see, 3. The full (!) history of SCG
  (when,  where and what!) depicted in full two dimensional fishomation, 4.
  A new application for D016 bars! (I call it 'wobbling').

  Enough  of  my  demo,  at the show we recieved the new IKARI demos called
  'IT'S  OUR  SHOW', not mega but not bad, the other one was 'IN FULL GEAR'
  (written  by  Mr.  Just  Ice)  whilst  this demo does not contain any new
  effects  or such, I found it extremely pleasing and a fine example of how
  a proper demo should look and sound (cool!).

  Well done, Just Ice.

  Wowzers,  I  have exhausted my topics of conversation and so I will bring
  this letter to a close...

  Huge  hellos  to  Fozz,  Bevs, Lazy, Aggy, Motor-x-man and Mr.Wig - flame
  those  lamers! Lastly to Warfreak of the DOMINATORS - You've got ten legs
  man!

  See you around guys
                                                                CHUNK - SCG

                                THE CHARTS...

  Thanx for voting this month: EAGLE SOFT INC. (Butcher), IKARI (Just Ice),
  S.C.G.  (W'bix), RWE (MWS), T.W.G. (SPC), CFR, SHINING 8, TRIANGLE, BROS,
  FAIRLIGHT, BEASTIE BOYS.......

  GAMES ON 64!

   1. KATAKIS                     (-)
   2. THE GAMES: SUMMER EDITION   (1)
   3. DALEY THOMPSON'S OLYMP.CH.  (-)
   4. OCEAN RANGER                (-)
   5. INTENSITY                   (-)
   6. HAWKEYE                     (9)
   7. BARBARIAN II                (-)
   8. BIONIC COMMANDO             (6)
   9. ALIEN SYNDROME              (5)
  10. ZAK MC KRACKEN              (2)

  GAMES ON AMIGA!

   1. BATTLE CHESS                (-)
   2. STARGLIDER II               (1)
   3. INTERCEPTOR                 (2)
   4. ROCKET RANGER               (-)
   5. KATAKIS                     (4)
   6. NEBULUS                     (-)
   7. SUMMER OLYMPIAD             (-)
   8. BERMUDA PROJECT             (3)
   9. BARD'S TALE II              (5)
  10. ALIEN SYNDROME              (-)

                              DEMO OF THE MONTH

  As  there  haven't  been any demos except the following three it was damn
  difficult  to  make a demo chart. So what is going down with all you demo
  programmers?

  1.  "HALFWAY"                    - S.C.G.
  2.  "LET'S DISCO"                - HORIZON
  3.  "IT'S OUR SHOW"              - IKARI

                            CRACKER OF THE MONTH

   1. S.C.G.                      (1)
   2. IKARI                       (3)
   3. EAGLESOFT INC.              (2)
   4. FAIRLIGHT                   (4)
   5. BEASTIE BOYS                (14)
   6. ZENITH                      (6)
   7. D.C.S.                      (13)
   8. BROS                        (5)
   9. T.W.G.                      (8)
  10. TRIAD                       (7)
  11. COSMOS                      (10)
  12. U.C.F.                      (-)
  13. RADWAR                      (9)
  14. SHINING 8                   (15)
  15. ORION                       (-)

  IMPRESSUM

  +-------------------------------+
  | > "ILLEGAL" tm 1988           |
  | > 3rd year of appearence      |
  | > (c) 1986 S.C.G.             |
  | > Circulation of this issue:  |
  |   1000 copies                 |
  | > Price: Germany: 2 DM        |
  |          England: 50 Pence    |
  |          US of A: 1,00       |
  | > Date of release:            |
  |   October, 15th               |
  | > Next number coming:         |
  |   November, 19th              |
  +-------------------------------+

  THE "ILLEGAL" TEAM

  * Editor:
       Jeff Smart
  * Assistant Editor:
       Mad All / CFR
  * Staff Writers:
       Austria: COSMOS
       Belgium: CFR, FLT
       Denmark: TRIANGLE, 2000 A.D.
       England: N.B.B., IKARI, S.C.G.
       Germany: RWE, BB, CFR
       Holland: BROS, ORION
       Norway : STARS
       Sweden : FLT, TRIAD
       U.S.A. : ESI, INC, FBR

  If you have any comments, you're welcome to write to us!

                                 JEFF SMART
                                PLK 123144 C
                                4250 BOTTROP
                                WEST GERMANY

                                   MAD ALL
                                P.O. BOX 406
                                8400 OOSTENDE
                                   BELGIUM

  Don't let others get your copy...

  If you want to get the next issue of "ILLEGAL", then contact:

                              "ILLEGAL"-orders
                                PLK 012314 B
                                4630 BOCHUM 6
                                WEST GERMANY

  And please enclose a prepaid envelope plus 2DM / 50p / 1 !

  !! Preview !!

  * Olympiad of the crackers
  * The new novel
  * and Gogo Brown slags off
