
   IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL, BUT STILL IT'S... ILLEGAL #38 - "JUDGEMENT DAY!"

                                  WOSSUP!?

  Hey,  wot's  happenin' doods? Yo! It must have come just like a big shock
  for  ya,  when  ya  see  these sheets of paper arrivin'... Hehe... Like I
  always  said; "Anutha ILLEGAL? Well never say never, but ya know! Perhaps
  one day a lonely ILLEGAL #38 may be dropped in your postbox..." - And wot
  the hell, HERE IT IS doods!

  Ergh...  onto  the mag; I KNOW IT'S NOT TOO GOOD!!! But just think, I had
  only  8  days  from  zero  to  100!! And considerin' that, well I'm quite
  satisfied...  though  of  course  it could have been better! No NEWSROOM,
  even no computer was used, just think of it!

  I  surely  have to apologize to a certain people for not calling them and
  asking  again for their much needed help, but 'cause of the lack of time,
  that  was  really not possible. Well to all those guys who never heard of
  ILLEGAL  before  they  saw  this one, I would like to say; "Shame on you!
  Where have you been 2 years before? A lot was much better than now!"...

  Anyway,  anyday...  seems  as  I  gotta  go.  But hey, I escaped from the
  electric  chair,  so  any  good and serious magazine producers are fairly
  welcome  to  talk  with  me  about  future  plans... and NEVER SAY NEVER!
  Perhaps  one  day  a lonely ILLEGAL #39 may be dropped in your postbox...
  and  leaving  you with my greetings I wish a merry X-mas and a very happy
  new  year  to  all  of you... Warm underwear throughout these cold winter
  days to:

  CONAN,  GENERAL  ZOFF and DRAGO (without you I wouldn't be here), TRI-DOS
  (a  real friend and cultured DJ), LAZER of NBB (yeah), MR.PINGE, JANITOR,
  IXION  and  all  others from the old TRIAD staff, WEETIBIX, CHUNK, LEE...
  one  of  those  Liverpudlian  SCOUSERS  (awesome!), FOZZ, HOBBIT, MAD ALL
  (good  pal,  where  are  you?), of course JUST ICE, STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT,
  T'KAY,  NIK, JORDI from sunny Spain (Olympic alcohol drinkin' 1992), SWYX
  of TRIANGLE, GENE of ACE, HI-TEC, MITCH of EAGLESOFT, ANTITRACK, SSD, BIG
  BEN  and  of course Christian (THE FLEET) of X-RAY from yodelin' Austria,
  IRATA, MR.ZEROPAGE, all of HOTLINE, all at TALENT, all Americans, all JOY
  divisioneers,  Sabine,  Guns'n'Roses and Arnold Schwarzenegger... -"HASTA
  LA VISTA, BABY"
                                                                 JEFF SMART

                             THE LATEST RUMORS!

  Judgement  Day  - Ole! Back from the deepest, darkest cave in hell, HE is
  once  again  taking  a  pen and paper to show the world where the bear is
  dancing...  and not only the bear, lads! The elite of cracking history is
  with  him on his way back to realism, back to something wicked... back to
  something illegal!

   * After seeing his NUDE picture in ILLEGAL #38, MWS of RADWR was offered
     a job by German cable-TV RTL Plus. MWS was asked to join the notorious
     TV-show "Tutti Frutti"! Will he be there soon?
   * HARRY  of  711 had big problems with a serious operation in a hospital
     that  became  necessary. His nose was completely out of order, because
     somebody told poor, poor HARRY (aka Walter - remember Magic Disk) that
     money doesn't smell.
   * T'KAY  of  former  TRIAD,  and  programmer of several demos is said to
     repeat  again  a full term at school. Due to his horribly weak English
     knowledge,  the  subjects "Childish Behaviour" and "Naivety" were main
     reasons for him to go back for one more year.
   * TRI-DOS of PANINARO, formerly IKARI was actually badly hurt by his dog
     Bruno. Bruno, who got his name from English boxing legend Frank Bruno,
     became  agressive  because of TRI-DOS' try to pin up a picture of Mike
     Tyson  who  beat  Frank  Bruno  a year ago badly! We hope that none of
     Paul's important bodyparts were injured! Ouuch!
   * Rumors come up that UK cracking legend WEETIBIX of the SCOUSE CRACKING
     GROUP  is  nowadays employed as a chief assistant at the BPAS - that's
     the "BRITISH PREGNANCY ADVISORY SERVICE"! So for any problems or fears
     call old Gregory at +44-XXX-XXX-XXX!

  It's never 2 l8 4 a good rumor!
                                                                 GOGO BROWN
                                TOP SECRETS!

  Old  legendary  secrets  finally  revealed! ILLEGAL let's you have a look
  into the secret safe of the world's most famous pirates. So be surprised,
  or be angry if your name is published here at last.

   * Who was TRON of EAGLESOFT?
     Do  you all remember those European cracks from an all-Americal group?
     Do you remember the Dutch member TRON of EAGLESOFT who asked the world
     if  anyone  out there wanted to buy or swap with the legend EAGLESOFT?
     Do  you remember yourself sending packages to a P.O. Box in Holland or
     even paying money for software supply? Yes?
     So who was the one who disappeared as fast as he came? No idea? We do!
     Believe it or not; MWS of RADWAR used to be TRON of ESI! Not really of
     course  -  first  thought  of  as  a joke, he was surprised by the big
     response  and started up with the P.O. Box in Holland! Not only lamers
     replied,  but  such elites as HOTLINE, BROS, ACTION, GP and lots more!
     In  the  end  MWS earned a lot of money through this. And you may also
     notice  that  even well known people pretend to be in groups that they
     definitely are not! At least as long as someone can disprove it!
   * Who was in ELITE?
     Yeah, so before rumors still go around here's now a hopefully complete
     member  list;  Founded  by  CONAN,  GENERAL  ZOFF,  SPEEDCRACKER, ZAZ,
     RADWAR,  T'KAY  and  JEFF  SMART in 1988 at the RADWAR PARTY II! Later
     joined  by  DRAGO, MR.CURSOR, RAGMAN, LEVEL 99 (DIFFLEX). The name was
     JEFFIE's  idea. Our stuff was delivered by UNITRAX! All from Germany -
     Germany's ELITE!
   * Anti-DYNAMIC DUO demos?
     In  the early days there occurred some anti-DYNAMIC DUO demos, but the
     most  famous  was  the  "10th Frame" screen. Meant not as ragging, but
     just  as a good joke! And oh-boy it was! And again MWS of RADWAR signs
     responsible for this.
   * Who was GOGO BROWN?
     Surprised  by  the success of EVIL EDDY, GOGO BROWN (name taken from a
     song  by  Heaven  17) went on copying him. Finding out some things are
     much  easier  to say if nobody knows who said them, JEFF SMART himself
     continued writing under the name of GOGO BROWN!
   * Who was EVIL EDDY?
     Started  for TRANSCOM's "CCCP" and later shocking it's readers through
     articles  in here! EVIL EDDY became a synonym for big speculations. In
     the  end,  you can guess it. Who speaks English so well that he became
     an  English  teacher? Who had a favorite music band Iron Maiden, which
     had  EVIL  EDDY  a monster on their album covers? Which group had this
     EVIL  EDDY  on  it's disk covers? Got it? MAD ALL of COMMANDOFRONTIER,
     Belgium!

                        THAT NAME SOUNDS IN MY EARS!

  Which  group  does  everyone from totally lame guys to the elite know for
  sure? We wondered, and here are the results!

   1. EAGLESOFT (94%)
   2. TRIAD (89%)
   3. IKARI (87%)
   4. HOTLINE (85%)
   5. FAIRLIGHT (78%)
   6. ELITE (62%)
   7. BEASTIE BOYS (53%)
   8. STRIKE FORCE/MOVERS (46%)
   9. BROS (43%)
  10. ACE (40%)

                               NOBLE CROSSING

  When  a rumor went around originally started by STEVE of ZENITH that when
  I  was in IKARI I got some guy to always crack games for me. Anyway there
  was  no  truth  but  some people went on about it like even NIK of IKARI.
  Well  I  quit the C64 and IKARI and then returned several months later in
  PANINARO  with  BAMBAM, PACO, MAGNETIC/USA, FALCO, a guy called YATTERING
  and myself. And it was myself and YATTERING who done the cracks.

  Then  rumors started to go 'round again that YATTERING did all the cracks
  and  dickheads  like  SHARK  of INC would go around saying he did all the
  cracks,  and  I  was  just  a  spreader.  Well, he was right! It was both
  TRI-DOS  and YATTERING, the same person and not even the other members in
  PANINARO know this, so all you people with your false claims were true in
  their  own  right,  but  it  looks as if you've been doublecrossed.

                                                             PAUL (TRI-DOS)

                          THE STORY OF SYSTEM FOUR

  Oh  my  God,  where  have  I been? 32 months away from good and bad, just
  sleeping  the  sleep  of  the  sleeper...  Never  ever thought they would
  release  me  from  these  dark  cells  without windows, without light and
  without SYSTEM FOUR! Been away so long, and having stood in a big heap of
  shit  I  finally learned who my real friends are. And you can believe me,
  there are not many dudes you can trust!

  It's  cold  outside  as I step out of the prison, it's snowing heavily...
  and  I  put  on my old sunglasses! Only people I've never seen before are
  sitting  and  standing next to me in the underground and I take the train
  directly  into  the  centre of SYSTEM FOUR... But hell, what's that!? The
  former  centre  is  gone away! Oh my God, where am I?? 32 months away and
  everything  changed...  People  say  they are in the a-class, so wot? I'm
  thinking, thinking... yeah, heard of 'em before...

  But who's leading this shit? Can't see anyone, can't see anyone who knows
  me. I just thought to go back at once, I thought I'd give an old friend a
  call.  Dial  his  number  and  listen to his answering machine. I leave a
  message  and tell him it's urgent... But time passes! If you rely on him,
  you  are  lost!!  Do  you  want  to  talk to an answering machine!?? It's
  nothing personal, so it's JUDGEMENT DAY!!

  An  old friend from the a-class recognizes me, invites me and together we
  have  great ideas. But I don't know, I'm sure I won't stay forever again,
  although  a  good  job  was offered to me, and my old company seems to be
  back  in  action,  at least! Too many things that hold my heart away from
  SYSTEM  FOUR's  leading  position,  could  you believe it? Well, thinking
  'bout  it,  I  still  cannot... Dropping my sunglasses for the first time
  ever in SYSTEM FOUR I can see the day is as dark as the night is long, so
  baby, light my way!

  Other  systems  rise, and then they fall, they are there and away... Lost
  much  of  my strengths?? I don't think so, maybe the real a-class will be
  soon  kicking  asses  again... Who knows? Oh, my God, where will I be? 32
  months  of  absence  and  they  seem  to have manipulated my brain... But
  fighting is a way, not easy, but do I need it?? Tell me, and then...

                  WHO WAS SQUEALING on STRIKE FORCE/MOVERS?

  The  guys  in that fab cooperation got busted on December 7th of 1988! At
  7.30am  sixteen policemen entered the houses of eight guys! And damn they
  got 'em! SPITFIRE wrote on a board these days something like this;

  - "Norman (CONAN) you sold software, so that's why you got busted."

  Fuck!  That's  a  lie!  I talked to Norman and he never sold software! As
  SPITFIRE  got  busted, he told the police everything about SF/MOVERS. And
  fuck, they used to be friends! But SPITFIRE didn't care at least! So shut
  the  fuck  up!  SF/MOVERS never turned you into trouble, even after that.
  But  they  should  have done that. And better get out of DRAGO's eyes, he
  read what you said to the police.

  'Cause  it  was  the main reason for him to get caught. So my tip: If you
  won't  get  into  troubles  make  sure  that  SPITFIRE  doesn't have your
  ADDRESS!
                                                               GENERAL ZOFF

WHERE HAVE ALL THE GREAT GUYS GONE?

 NAME         AGE FAMOUS FOR...           STATUS (PERSONAL, PROFESSIONAL)
 TRI-DOS      20 PANINARO, IKARI          Girlfriend, College
 WEETIBIX     20 SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP    Girlfriend, University
 MR.PINGE     21 TRIAD                    No permanent girlfriend, Working
                                          at a newspaper
 JANITOR      21 TRIAD                    Solo, University
 SLEDGEHAMMER 24 HOTLINE                  Solo, Working
 MWS          24 RADWAR, THE LIGHT CIRCLE Nobody cares really...
 JUST ICE     22 IKARI                    Solo, Working
 JEFF SMART   21 TRIAD, SCG, "ILLEGAL"    Girlfriend, Working
 CONAN        20 ELITE, STRIKE FORCE      Girlfriend, Working
 ANTITRACK    23 COSMOS, LEGEND           Boring, University
 STRIDER      21 FAIRLIGHT                7 girlfriends, Communist killer
 MITCH        24 EAGLESOFT                Girlfriend, Working (drug
                                          dealer)
 MR.ZEROPAGE  24 THE LIGHT CIRCLE         Girlfriend, Working (computer)
 MAD ALL      24 COMMANDOFRONTIER         Girlfriend, Working

                         TOP 10 MOVIES OF ALL TIME!

  You casted your votes, and they read like this;

   1. THE TERMINATOR, TERMINATOR II
   2. STAR WARS, EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, RETURN OF THE JEDI
   3. TOTAL RECALL
   4. GHOSTBUSTERS, GHOSTBUSTERS II
   5. DIE HARD, DIE HARD II
   6. ALIEN, ALIENS (ALIEN II)
   7. RUNNING MAN
   8. RAMBO, RAMBO II, RAMBO III
   9. BLUES BROTHERS
  10. LIFE OF BRIAN

  Finally,  a  big  hello  to  the  following people; JEFF SMART, all other
  BENCOR  members,  BENCOR  USA, Billy, Chris K, all TELEPATHY members, all
  FAITH members and DR.JEKYLL! L8R DUDES!
                                               LAZER of NEW BENCOR BROTHERS

                  FAMOUS LAST WORDS COMPILED BY JEFF SMART

   * I  have  not  seen  that asshole Colin Loosemore for a very long time.
     LAZER/NBB
   * Yo  Jeff  (20/12/88), I thought I would just send you these new cracks
     just  to  show  ya  I am still alive from that RADWAR party! Hope this
     package  gets to you before Christmas! Oh, gotta go! /Paul (TRI-DOS of
     IKARI)
   * Nice  to  see ELITE 1st with Tom & Jerry, Hard'n'Heavy etc. Definately
     Germany's elite. OK, bye! /MARK (JUST ICE of IKARI)
   * Jeesus, as if I'm slowly getting tired! Yours, MITCH of EAGLESOFT INC.

                               THE FINAL WORD

  So  how comes that bastard still wants to make an ILLEGAL? Well, actually
  I don't know really by myself, it's like an urge when I think back on the
  old days and then I notice that I've never had the chance to round up the
  whole  thing,  if yo uknow what I mean. I mean there was an issue #37 and
  then??

  Just  when  I tried to make a final issue (no joke!), the cops busted me!
  Hell!  And also I can see (from the small angle I can judge from) that in
  today's  cracking and hacking scene no real good magazine appears (if you
  have  an  own  -  sorry).  I  only  saw  different  disk  magazines (e.g.
  "Sex'n'Crime" etc) and either way they are shit and uninformative or it's
  just slagging off each other.

  Well  what's  the bad of slagging each other anyway? Nothing, but I think
  that  by  reading  that you don't get a chance to develop an own point of
  view, do you?
                                                                     JEFFIE

  ILLEGAL  is an ELITE prodution 1991 - Directed by JEFF SMART and produced
  by CONAN and GENERAL ZOFF for ELITE Ltd. 1991

  -"Mama  put  my  guns  in  the ground I can't shoot 'em anymore that cold
  black cloud is coming down - feels like I'm knocking on heaven's door."

  JEFF  SMART  would  like  to  thank  the  following  for making it a real
  JUDGEMENT  DAY;  CONAN,  GENERAL  ZOFF,  TRI-DOS,  ANTITRACK,  JUST  ICE,
  MR.PINGE, DRAGO and last and least T'KAY! L8R M8S!

  -"I'm  a cold heartbreaker fit to burn and I'll rip your heart in two and
  I'll leave you lying on the bed.
  I'll  be out the door before you wake it's nothing to you, 'cause I think
  we've read that magazine too, did we??

                  THE WORLD'S BEST PIRATES IN HISTORY MAN!

             BEST CRACKER                     BEST CRACKING GROUP

    1. JANITOR of TRIAD         29%      1. IKARI                    46%
    2. WEETIBIX of SCG          28%      2. FAIRLIGHT                12%
    3. MR.ZEROPAGE of TLC       11%      3. TRIAD                    11%
    4. GOLLUM of FAIRLIGHT      10%      4. HOTLINE                  10%
    5. OMEGA MAN of TCS          8%      5. SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP     9%

            BEST PROGRAMMER                  BEST PROGRAMMING TEAM

    1. WHITE of THE JUDGES      27%      1. THE JUDGES               31%
    2. MR.CURSOR                26%      2. SCOOP DESIGN             24%
    3. TMC of SCOOP DESIGN      18%      3. IAN & MIC                10%
    4. OMEGA MAN of TCS         12%      4. ASH & DAVE                9%
    5. MARIO VAN ZEIST           8%      5. 1001 CREW                 8%

               BEST DEMO                      BEST COMPOSED TRACK

    1. THINK TWICE                       1. GREEN BERET              24%
        by THE JUDGES           31%      2. THE LAST NINJA II        23%
    2. THAT'S THE WAY IT IS              3. CYBERNOID II             20%
        by SCOOP DESIGN         24%      4. SHADOWFIRE               13%
    3. TRAIL MIX                         5. BIONIC COMMANDO           6%
        by SOEDESOFT            11%
    4. DUAL CASSETTE
        by ASH & DAVE           10%
    5. PIMPLESQUEEZER
        by RAWHEAD               8%

             BEST COMPOSER                         BEST GAME

    1. MARTIN GALWAY            30%      1. ELITE                    24%
    2. CHARLES DEENEN of MON    22%      2. PIRATES                  22%
    3. ROB HUBBARD              20%      3. THE LAST NINJA           18%
    4. JEROEN TEL of MON        13%      4. KATAKIS                  15%
    5. JCH of VIBRANTS           6%      5. ULTIMA V                 10%

         WORLD'S FAMOUS LEGEND                GREATEST EVENT EVER

    1. EAGLESOFT INC.           25%      1. VENLO meeting December '88
    2. TRIAD                    24%          + TV-show "High Score"
    3. IKARI                    18%          + RADWAR Party II
    4. STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT     13%            (all in ONE day!)     50%
    5. JEFF SMART               11%      2. PCS Show '88             20%
                                         3. DANISH GOLD party '87     8%
                                         4. IKARI-DOMINATORS-ZARGON
                                             party '89                7%
                                         5. PCS Show '89              6%

  Due  to  your  voting  in  ILLEGAL, we were able to show you the ULTIMATE
  voting  list.  Who's the world's best? Well, see above! Thanx 4 yer votes
  dudes  -  especially; TRI-DOS, HOBBIT, LAZER, SLEDGEHAMMER, MITCH/ESI and
  STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT!

  IMPRESSUM
  ILLEGAL(TM) by JEFF SMART
  Issue  #38 - Released on December
  14th 1991 - Circulation: 200
  Editor-in-Chief: JEFF SMART
  Co-Editors & Contributors: CONAN,
  GENERAL ZOFF, TRI-DOS, ANTITRACK,
  JUST ICE, MR.PINGE, DRAGO, T'KAY
  Typed in by: STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT
  Comments:   This   is   the  last
  issue... but you never ever know!
