                    
                                     
                                          
                                       
                               
                                  
                                  taR^
                      
                                    
                       YOU AlREADY KNOW TOO MUCH 
                           iSSUE#2 1995, MAY 
                             FiRG KiCKZASS 



       
       EDiTORS : KlOPMAN+TARR+Kill GATES        All asciiz by TARR!
       

              ...JOIN FIRG! SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE MASTERS...

       
                  GREETiNGZ : that's not our style. sorry.
       

                                                                    
       
         MORAl SUPPORT : byteam, your mom, future crew, money, fun
       

                                                                    
       
       >ATTENTiON! WE SAW THAT ONE OF THE HUNGARiAN BOARDS THE RAGE<
       >#1 WAS FAKED ['SHIT, LAME, FAKE!']. I SUGGEST YOU NOT TO DO<
       >IT OR YOU WILL SUFFER! THAT'S REAL! THIS MAG  CONTAINS  THE<
       >TRUTH,  THE  TRUTH  ABOUT  THE  DARK  SIDE  OF  THE  SCENE!<
       




        
            YOUR NiGHTMARE
              CAME TRUE!  WE
                   ARE BACK!!!!!!
                
        taR^

        Beacuse of the good echoes and big success we continue!
        I think you are happy now! But DON'T BE HAPPY! Maybe we
        are watching you and the next issue will include  some-
        thing painful about you. We know that you fuck pets but
        the world doesn't know it till we share this info  with
        them. And than you can't escape from the spotlight!  So
        beware! Don't be happy, be angry and be afraid from the
        text. You all know that this mag contains the truth...
        And that's not all! We have a new guy in  the  editor's
        team! I bet you all will like him. And that's still not
        all! I've drawn new styled asciiz to give you fun! Send
        the flowers to the following address:
        <YOUR NAME>     <YOUR BOARD>              <YOUR ADDRESS>
        Please use only real names or the post won't accept you!
        Ok, i let the other guys to get on succeed. Enjoy RAGE#2



             
                   taR
                
                     ^ 
                   
              
        WE GONNA MAKE YOU FUCKERS,DANCE

        + SHOCK! - The new (?) hungarian megateam has split up! Or
        at least an ex-member (Bat) told us this. He also informed
        me about the name of an upcoming new group: Suck!
        (Tarr's comment: i think they've better rename to 'Clock')

        + DARKNESS/iMPHOBiA - Is a liar...- not Lord Cyrix - sorry
        for the misinforming (Rage1). He claimed  that  Venior/S!P
        is a GAY... Maybe he is, but anyway, Darkness is a liar!

        + Blood attacks blood. Guys from the ex-same  team  starts
        fucking up each other. TORLOCK POP [hm..we have to suggest
        him another name..like Torlock Rock?] says that BURPS is a
        lamer and rips ansi-logos from the ACiD guys. Keep  up  on
        good work and fuckup each other, so will be the scene dest
        royed, when dudes attack each other in the same team.

        + Our last issue contained a bug: We wrote that every UNI-
        CORN members are gipsies..But it was true! How surprising!

        + We noticede that IMPHOBIA 10's news contained errors:
          - The music of CLASH by GRIF was not made by T-BOZZ!
          - Ratt/Grif is NOT a shock! member...
          - Rian/Shock! is NOT a grif member...
          - IMPHOBIA WAS NOT the first PC diskmagazine...
          - IMPHOBIA IS NOT the PC magazine with the most text and
            issues... TERROR NEWS is at its 60th issue with 1-2 Mb
            of text in each issue...

        + A message to DARKNESS: Faszomat a kurva anyadba! 5 meter!
        [Tarr's comment: that's really personal from  all  the FiRG
        staff! Don't even try to buy dictionaires! You  won't  find
        the main words of this sentence..!!]

        + Did ya know, that by the sceNEst95 winning demo CLASH by
        GRiF was only da luck that helped RaTT to  have the  music
        exactly as long as the demo...RiAN  composed the music way
        before Clash was ready, RaTT just wanted  to check another
        music on the partyplace, and it passed perfectly.....Hehe,
        and then........In the creditscreen of the demo was still:
        'MuSiC By T-BoZZ'.....but RaTT made a nice GiF for inform:
        'A zent nem T-BoZZ rta, ahogy a creditekben szerepel ha-
        nem  RiAN', [Tarr's comment: it means the  followings 'The
        music wasn't written by T-Bozz as it is in the creditz. It
        was made by Rian] or sumthing like that, and he  made also
        a batchfile what started the gIf-viewer, and the the demo.
        ;) GRiF...How Laaame!!! ;) (I still have the original from
        the organisers...altough GRiF said it was deleted...hmmm...
        maybe RaTT never heard from the handy little Dos-Command...
        UNDELETE....;))) (And again....Hoooooow lame they are!!!!!)



             
          t  
        a   
        R  
        ^  
         
        the happy  side  of  life

        You can't tell us, that RAGE is always the same. We  change
        too, as everything is changing so you can't  tell  us  that
        you won't leech your favorite diskmag anymore coz you  read
        always the same. Our new editor dude brought us a fantastic
        idea: put a JOKE OF THE MONTH article to the mag! ENJOY IT!


        And now...it's the joke of the month:

                          /\/\   


        [Tarr's comment: hahahaahahehahahahahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaggahj!]
        [Klopman's comment: iihhhehahahahhuuhehehehehhofhehHheh!!!]




               
                         
           taR^       
                 
        
        
        [let's see under a nail of some dude]

        + Venior/S!P has a board called WiNTERMOON.  We think that
        he has a bad fate, because he has to rename it  in every 3
        months.. [don't you  understand?  Springmoon,  Summermoon,
        Autumnmoon, Wintermoon]..

        + I think that those motherfucking ACiD and iCE guys can't
        draw anything else than SPiDERMANS AND MONSTERS. Just  see
        it yourself dude! If they start to create  something  cool
        (like a girl with a kewl body ;)) they draws a monster  or
        something like that to the bottom of the ansi. If you want
        to believe me, than see it yourself. That's true..shame...

        + UNICORN is in business  activities right  now. They stop
        every pcscene things and start to build an industry in the
        center of their city.They wanna make some food in it. They
        didnt find a good name for it yet,but maybe it will called
        UNI-CORN FLAKES.

        + DARKNESS /IMPHOBIA has the fucking very best name on the
        scene,because it TOTALLY fits to him,coz he has real DARK-
        NESS inside his head...

        + UNDERTAKER/TRAXX-His songs are the very worst of all the
        PC modules, scientists proved that FLOWERS will grow BACK-
        WARDS if we play it to them.  In UGANDA  they use  it  for
        TERMINATING people instead of ELECTRIC CHAIR. We recommend
        him to collect stamps, fuck donkeys. [Tarr's comment: hmmm
        i could suggest him to hear Mozart or simply hang himself]

        + Byteam : Oooooh! What a laaaame name...let's think about
        it..Why not...hmm...WordTeAM...or...BooleanTeam...or, hehe
        BiTTeAM..They not only suck, coz they got a lame name (hmm,
        that's cool: lamename...lamename...;), they suck coz they :
         1.)  got a Dual Pentium, with 32 Megz 'o Ram...HoW cool!
              I got a question...is a group cooler,or'eliter'when
              one the members got a Dual P5..? Who the fuck cares
              if the daddy of Hal (=Fish ;) is a millionaire, and
              they got 5 Rolls' stayin round in the garage..well..
              i don't!
         2.)  their members look  like  my little brother, when he
              shits in his Pampers...they suck! I think  they  are
              about 12y old, and their daddys are codin everything
         3.)  just simply SUCK! Just take a look at their infofile
              'At the  first  time  we went  to  a party everybody
              laughed at us'...hmm...everybody still does! HAHAHA!

        + Shock! : Woooha! The mega-elite group, or 'The United Hungarian
        Scene'hmm..i think it's a lie. We aren't in Shock! so it couldn't
        be the united Hungarian scene! How cool...they got 76 members but
        no one of them done anything since March, when they were found...
        Ok, they had released  some stuffz....whoa...take a look! A demo-
        group releasing cracks...and a whole WAD-SELECTOR. Wooooooooooha!
        HoW ...They all suck!

        + URIN8 : AAARHGHHH! The new Hungarian shame-group...they got only
        three members...They are also sort of -Wannabe's..Watch their
        intro...Only the name made me pissing in my pants...Kank Jank...
        that should be ? It's just stupid, and really dumb! No wonder
        that they only got the 4th (!!) place on Cache...There were only 4
        Attenders...;))))))) One of them, releasing some sort of...hmmmz..
        music...That dude, called Hanx, he is the main -wannabe! Just
        hear his "music"..hehe, when i may call it music...it sucks sooooo
        much! BLARG!  It makes me barf!  It's a shame on real good techno,
        and hardcore! DOWN WITH 'EM!!!




                 
                        
                    
                    taR^     
                 
           WHO iS ON THE TOP NOWADAYS?    



  Top Humble Scene Faces:

  1. JMAGIC       - COMPLEX/J!ESKOLA      - 7800 POINTS
  2. LORD CYRIX   - S!P/FUTURE CREW/AD    - 2432 POINTS
  3. KING ROBYMUS - BYTEAM                - 2000 POINTS
  4. ZEBIG        - SPEED                 - 1911 POINTS
  5. GREG         - PHANTOM               -  400 POINTS
  6. HAL          - BYTEAM                - 2x90 POINTS
  7. MAXWOOD      - MAJIC TWELVE          -   12 POINTS
  8. DARKNESS     - IMPHOBIA              -   10 POINTS

  Top Annoying BBS Advertisements

  1.  Y.EXE
  2.  FIRSTON.EXE
  3.  LISEZ.MOI
  4.  SMODDER.COM
  5.  OU.O
  6.  COOL.DIZ
  7.  ETE.ETE
  8.  BUGJES.TXT
  9.  FILE_ID.BIZ
  10. -PB-RULE.EXE



                     
                             
                taR^    
      :taking:place:in:the:house:of:famous:persons!:

 Interview with King Robymus / Byteam

 K: KLOPMAN
 R: KING ROBYMUS

 K: Welcome, my king!
 R: Hello peasant...
 K: I would like to ask some questions for our lamermagazine...
 R: Go ahead!
 K: My first question is: Why Byteam has this very humble style?
 R: Because we rule. WE RULE! Did you know that HAL has a toy? A cool
    Dual Pentium 90 with 32 megaz of RAM? Who has got a machine like this
    on the hungarian pc scene? No one. So that's why WE RULE IT! 
 K: What's your slogan?
 R: "Half a year ago everyone laughed at us. Now we laugh at everyone else!"
 K: I think there are many people who are still laughing at You. By the way, 
    who is your favourite PC Musician?
 R: Megant/Byteam
 K: And what is your favourite food?
 R: Bread and water.
 K: Have you read the RAGE ISSUE-001 ? (Tarr's comment:yea! yea Beavis!)
 R: Yep, and i found it very impressive. The Pablo Picasso pic was cool!!
 K: Thanx, although that was Imphobia 9. Anyways, you have so ugly head. 
    It disturbs you in hunting for chicks, is it? 
 R: Fuck you! Althugh i really hate women (because they don't like computers,
    and because my ex-girlfriend did not let me to code, she wanted to fuck
    at the night!) i don't care my face anymore. If people love my intro,
    i feel the whole world is mine. I dominate. (Tarr's comment: Sadomazo!)
 K: I hope you will never meet the men with white coats...
 R: I don't think so. We'll win the Asm95 with Incompatibility 2 - the final
    bug.
 K: Krewel. Did you know that Incompatiblity is really incompatible with
    many video cards?
 R: That can't be real!
 K: By the way, would you like to kill the big lamer TSC/PHANTOM DEZIGN who
    is known as CYBERDANCER/SHOCK! nowadays?
 R: Yess, i would kill him, and then rape his little sister/brother, because
    he stole all our sources, and because he wanted to steal HAL's Dual 
    Pentium too. And he released our sources saying they were his sources!!!
 K: Is it true?
 R: It must be! Hmmmm... I think...
 K: Hmmm... could you give me your crown for a minute?
 R: Here it is. Take care of it, coz it's too expensive!
 K: Ehem.. Ohhh!! LOOK behind you!! AN UFO!!! LOOK!
 R: Where? What? [Turns 180 degrees]
 K: [Runs away with the Crown]
 R: Hey! STOP! STOP! Ahh... Fuck....

 Interview with Lord Cyrix/Future Crew, Surprise!Productions, Access Denied

 T: TARR
 LC: LORD CYRIX

 T: Hi my Lord! Can i ask some questions about your way to the top on the
    scene?
 LC: Oh yeah! I like to talk about my rulezness and about my bbs called
     PointSnake [CALL POiNTSNAKE BBS! THE WORLD'S FASTEST BOARD ON 2432 NODEZ
     0-24, EVERY TEAM'S WHQ AND HQ AT THE SAME TIME! NUMMBAHH:32-11-NOTNOT!!]
     But beware! You have to know that i'm very humble dude and i won't answer
     to some questions about my bad habits and lies!
 T: Nobody cares about your lies because everybody knows that you lies 90
    percently for the users!
 LC: No! I don't lie! I really have 2432 nodes, i use my own multitasker
     coded and directed by me [Lord Cyrix/Future Crew, Surprose!Productions,
     Access Denied] and it's called HCLCi - THE BEST MULTITASKER. It's based
     on Norton Commander and it's a ppe at the same time! Did you believe
     it? Heheheh...If you type 'WHO' on my board (PointSnake) ..
     [CALL POiNTSNAKE BBS! THE WORLD'S FASTEST BOARD ON 2432 NODEZ0-24,
     EVERY TEAM'S WHQ AND HQ AT THE SAME TIME! NUMMBAHH:32-11-NOTNOT!!]
     and it will show you who is online!
 T: Huhh..it's cool...but i saw a bug in that fake who's line ppe! Did you
    notice that J.J.Flash/TRSi is always online on node 1423 and you are on 4
    nodes locally and you upload files 24hours a day?
    [KLOPMAN'S COMMENT: KINDA SUSPICIOUS... EH???]
 LC: NO!!!! THAT'S NOT FAKE! COME AND SEE iT! It was very hard to connect
     all the 2432 nodes to one modem and one machine but i did it and it works!
 T: Hmmm....it sounds strange..
 LC: That's the reality!
 T: Don't you wanna start on the compo: 'WHO iS THE MOST BEAUTiFUL ON THE
    SCENE?'
 LC: But! I organise it! I recieved....so i recieved only one photo yet..
 T: Bah...i think that's you!
 LC: No!! That's not me!
 T: But, this is you, maistro!
 LC: NO!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [KLOPMAN'S COMMENT: "I'M A LIAR..."]
 T: But.
 LC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 T: You'll win it right? Because it's you!
 LC: NOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!
 [...]
 I've got the results of that competition, so i share it with you as the
 closing of the report.

 WHO iS THE MOST BEAUTiFUL ON THE SCENE?
 ---------------------------------------
 1. Lord Cyrix/Future Crew, Surprise!Productions, Access Denied
 2. NO COMPETiTOR [KLOPMAN'S COMMENT: OCCULTO/IGUANO SHOULD DO IT WELL...]
 3. NO COMPETiTOR

 You can contact the winner on his board! [CALL POiNTSNAKE BBS! THE WORLD'S
 FASTEST BOARD ON 2432 NODEZ0-24, EVERY TEAM'S WHQ AND HQ AT THE SAME TIME!
 NUMMBAHH:32-11-NOTNOT!!]
 WooW! BaSS^GeeK/FiRG RooLZ! He Actually managed to chat a bit with
 Purple Motion/FC...It's really cool, but see it for yourself, how we
 found out that in reality (how KLOPMAN and TARR likes this word) PM a
 BUGZILAJMER is...;)



 Interview with Purple Motion [Tarr's comment: BAAAAAD NAMEEE!!!]/Future Crew


 KG: HeLLo!
 PM: Heippa!
 KG: Are ya ready?
 PM> itipuoli aatami!
 KG: What? What are you talking about ya fat asshole?
 PM> Sikoja kaikki, ummm...Minua tn...
 KG: What a shame you ass, that you can't speak a word english, but ya are
     still the number one on the music scene...
 PM: Vihaa, joppa kiitos...
 KG: Hey, TARR, are ya sure this dude is like...sane...?
 T: Hey dude! Stop that fucking Finnish crap!! Stop that! Or i simply let
 you eat your own balls!
 PM: Eetami, perkele...
 KG: Ok, we know you are stupid! Bye ya LajMER!!!
 PM: Heiia...PERRKELE!!!
 T: Ok, do you eat them or we beat you!?
 [THE END OF THE CONVERSATION IS CENSORED. MURPLE POTION HAD TO GO TO THE
 NEAREST HOSPITAL. MAYBE YOU WON'T KNOW HIS FACE. WE FORMED IT..]




       
                 WE SAY GOOD BYE  NOW
                          BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW
      taR^                  YOU COUlD NEVER KNOW
                WHEN Will WE RElEASE
       THE NEXT RAGE iSSUE!
      ClOSiNG WORDS COMiNG UP NEXT YOU lOSER 

    Hmmm...do you cry? Or are you angry? Or do you smile? Or  do  you say:
    'aaaaaaaaah, i'm not in it..'? WE DON'T CARE ABOUT IT! We really don't
    care about you! You are the same as these losers in this mag! But any-
    ways you have to be afraid from us..if you are a serious scene-maniac.
    If we will get some infos about you or we know you we will  kill  your
    hardly-worked-out  existence on  the  scene. So  NEVER forget:  we are
    watching you and your nasty lame team/crew/group/inc.!!!
